how will it take to forget u? really forget u?

dear dumb diary..
today i feel like i want wrote you about smthing happy..but..
when i saw the post that he make,
,makes ...... makes me sad n rmmember wat te last word he says too me..

lalu tnpa ku sedari,,air mata mula mgalir,,
dont u know my feeling towards you..?
should i say loudly to you n let everyone know it? should i?

what im suppose to do? do you think during we are separate ive already forget everything bout u..?
no u wrong.. absolutely wrong..
i live with our memories..i bring them together with me..
i dont know y i always talk about u,,follow ur update..
sometimes i felt like am i spying u?
yes, i am.
and the most horrible is.. that i only love u n watch u from far..

dont u really know how hard it is?
or u really forget bout me already. or u just dont wanna know bout me anymore..
sometime, i think that u do all this too,, spying me..
ya Allah..ampunkan dosa hamba mu ini..
ku x tw da nak luah ma sapa..
no one hear my prob..when it my turn have problm..
my friend near from me..n i dont wnna disturb them witf my silly feeling..
let me cry alone..
through this blog i can discharge.

too many assumption that i make..to many sometime..
ya Allah..i just pray that im willing to let him go..but the real is that i unwilling to do so..
please..let me forget bout him again n dont ever ....mmmmm

P/s: my feeling now,,very sad..n it make my eye look terrible..